Majestic Mutterings
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Bad carpet
Now, when I was young the future really was orange. We had a quite remarkable loft in our South London abode that was my bedroom, which had bright orange walls and a deep orange carpet. It was in that decade of taste, the 70’s, where even the décor itself conspired to give you a headache. When my dad was decorating it the words ‘Space age’ kept coming up, probably due to some silver picture frames dotted about, though perhaps it also referred to my being shoved up into the highest area in our house. Like being in the top bit of a rocket – don’t know the technical term. The nose maybe? Anyway, I’m still not sure why I didn’t have a bedroom next to everybody else (obviously a ‘space’ issue fnarrr), but the future then did seem all so innocently high-tech and tantalisingly out of reach. I remember the entire class watching the first moon-landing on a big fuzzy telly wheeled into the classroom. God we were bored. But what could happen in the years to come beckoned starrily. The next generations would be travelling to Mars, setting up homes on Jupiter, taking a holiday in Uranus(!!!). They’d have a robot to do the chores and would hover to work on some kind of mono-rail in the clouds…..
So has that future which promised so much been a disappointment? Well, I don’t have a robot to do the hoovering – sorry, dysoning – and I can’t really see our next vacation going inter-gallactic. But one of my favourite records is the acid house classic ‘Future’, and I still, probably with my head firmly up on that cloudy mono-rail, feel certain bits of optimism about some of what it may hold. It’s bloody January, the most difficult month of the year to feel positive about much, so before I lose sight of any potential joy here’s a wee Queenie list of what could come good as time marches on never ending……
1. Mr Obama actually becomes all we hope he said he’d become, delivers us all from evil, and the world turns into somewhere the residents of other galaxies would like to actually visit.
2. West Ham win the league. And all the cups. And all the players receive knight-hoods.
3. All our lovely clubs become busy, happy places again.
4. Polystyrene never enters my life.
5. Everybody wins the lottery.
6. Queen Liz abdicates, passing on her crown to little me rather than Charlie allowing him to concentrate on his organic biscuits and cows etc.
7. All toilets become self-cleaning.
8. No more Big bleeding Brother or Strictly Come Dancing.
9. Somebody invents a white bra that stays white and bright rather than going grey and horrible after one wash. Even if you use glo-white.
10. I’ll stop doing so many lists.
So my darlings, I hope we all have a happy and fabulous New Year. And a safe and loving future……..
xxxHRH
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:50 AM