Majestic Mutterings
Friday, July 31, 2009
Pride At The Marlborough
Marlborough AnnuaL Pride Weekender
with 2 days of Outdoor Live Music, Burlesque, Comedy and Drag
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=110203031057
This year we are going all out and providing you 2 days of Live Music and other acts.
Starting Friday night with our Pre-Pride Party, and performances in the Theatre. Check it out in our events.
Then on Sat 1st and Sunday 2nd August we will be having our street shut off and a Stage with Full Bands, Singers, and fun entertainment. Hosted by Cat Harding, Lucy Checkley, Mercedes Benz and Carren Olivacce.
Plus DJs Queen Josephine & Madhatter do their Pride funky thing upstairs across the weekend!
FRIDAY 9pm-2am (Madhatter)
Saturday 10pm-1.30 am (QJ & Madhatter)
Sunday 10-2 (QJ & Madhatter)
# posted by Queen Josephine : 1:59 PM
Friday, July 31, 2009
BRIGHTON PRIDE 2009
In the words of the Pointer Sisters “we’re so excited and we just can’t hide it!” Yes Brighton Pride 2009 is finally here.
Queen Jo & I are most happy to be involved this year and we’re looking forward to seeing you at the front, on the dance floor, by the bar, on the terrace or in a toilet queue at some point this weekend!
The build up has been un-believable and the weekend itself looks like being unforgettable. So excuse the links but below is a round up of where you can find some Queenie Wildblood action this weekend.
And please do support this years Official Pride Parties. Without them, their donations and the monies you pop in the Pride buckets this fabulous event we love, love, love would never happen and we’d all spend the first weekend in august twiddling our disco thumbs! Check out http://www.realbrighton.com for more details of all of this years official parties and events.
Friday 31st July
Pride Welcome Party @ Above Audio 6pm-late
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=93854889231&ref=ts
Free entry, fabulous drinks promos; free BBQ (subject to weather and availability) and DJs Queen Jo, Wildblood and Helene Stokes playing disco, commercial house, a touch of r’n’b and those unforgettable club classics. Yum.
Saturday 1st August
Brighton Pride, Wild Fruit big top. Pride on Preston Park. Brighton. FREE
12 midday – 8pm
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=46659712637
It’s the one we’ve all been waiting for. And we’re so unbelievably chuffed to be a part of it. Join Queen Jo nice and early as she warms up for Jonny M & Boy George from 12midday and come shake that arse to Wildblood and Neil Duffie come 6pm. But then who needs times? Get there at 12. Stay till 8. End of.
Wild Fruit Terrace Party @ Above Audio, 6pm – 11pm
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=96889012505
Sweet music, sexy customers and a stunning spot makes this the essential post-park social gathering with DJs Diablo & Wildblood.
Wild Fruit Official Pride Party @ Audio, Marine Parade 10pm – 5am
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=185806355626
This is gonna be one of the weekend’s wonders. With a DJ line up to move you all night long including Steve Pitron, Oliver M, Guy Williams, Gonzalo,
Jon Byrne, Neil Duffie, Jeffrey Hinton, Kate Wildblood plus guests and
hostesses Chriisy Darling & Twiggy this promises to deliver and then some. Plus it’s in the heart of the gay strip, has a most sociable sun terrace, the warmest of crowds and it’s the place to get those Matinee meets Wild Fruit queue jump tickets! We can’t wait.
Sunday 2nd August (AM)
Matinee meet Wild Fruit, the OFFICIAL PRIDE AFTER HOURS 09 @ Honeyclub, Kings Road Arches, Brighton. 3.30am – 9am
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=105942230549
Wild Fruit? Check. Matinee? Check. Brighton’s prestigious Honeyclub? Check. VIPs area? Check. Three rooms of hot, hot, hot partying? check. Fabulous seafront terrace? Check an unrivalled Dj line up including Jordi Lights, Oliver M, Guy Williams, Jon Byrne, Neil Duffie, Nathan6, Dj Devilish, Kate Wildblood & Jonny M! Check. That means one thing. Matinee meets Wild Fruit is the after-hours party this Pride weekend. See you at the (sea)front!
Sunday 2nd August
Sunday Sundae
CRUISE SUNDAY, Official Pride fundraiser @ Audio, Marine Parade
Double Floor All-dayer. 3pm – 11pm
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=93013262670
And so to one of our highlights of the weekend – SUNDAY SUNDAE. One of Brighton’s best-loved club nights Sunday Sundae takes off on Pride Sundae as the mix of fabulous clubbers, sound DJs, sweet venue and must see dancefloor action combine to make this a truly special Sunday sundae. DJs Jeffrey Hinton, Freddie Thomas, and Brighton’s renowned Kate Wildblood, Queen Jo, Diablo and Richard Jones plus guests ...This hot party gets packed, packed, packed! So get there early & take advantage of the Free BBQ & happy hour before 6pm.
After that we’re off to Wild Fruit & Rebel to dance the night away all gay, gay, gay like! Hope to see you there.
Have safe, sound and happy Pride sweetpeas
Queen Jo & Kate xxxx
# posted by Queen Josephine : 1:58 PM
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Essental services
One of the strangest things I have been asked in the early hours of the morning, by somebody who I subsequently realised was completely fast asleep, was ‘Have you ever shagged a fire-fighter?’. I lay there for a while, eyes desperately trying to become accustomed to the darkness so that I could try and catch her eye (which was of course tightly clamped shut), wondering if this was accusatory or some kind of pre-curser to a spot of early morning hose-play (fnarrr). When I realised it was neither – oh phew and oh bugger my virtually simultaneous thoughts – I firstly tried to imagine what kind of bloody dreams were going on in her pretty head. I didn’t imagine they involved Fireman Sam but being as she didn’t remember a thing when quizzed later I suppose anything is possible! Then I tried to remember if I had, knowing several lesbians involved in the putting out of fires!. Indeed, had I had any ‘relations’ with anyone at all involved in our essential services, Wild Fruit uniform-wearers aside??? And are gays the best of the best in these services??? I think I nodded back off before panic about it all set in….
But anyway, what constitutes an essential service?? Do hair-dressers count as there are, ummmm, one or two gays in that worthy profession who have done wonders for my barnet if not in bouncing me around the boudoir! And do supermarket check-out girls count? Many moons ago there was a lovely lady on the tills at a certain up-market Brighton store who used to provide an essential service for poor dykes like me. The first time it happened I thought I must be on Candid Camera and half expected to be chased down Western Road by burly securities. It wasn’t that she was doing a spot of fumbling with my loose change, rather I wasn’t getting any change at all. An entire, full to the brim trolley, all for FREE because I had short hair and a ‘clit licker’ badge. She was definitely a gays are best, and though I would never allow such dishonesty in my life these days being all sensible and old now, she helped me cook up a storm back then. And good food was the way to the girls heart ha ha!!!
But I’m sounding flippant. And there are two gentlemen who (I hope still) work driving ambulances who will always have a special place in my heart to redress this naughtiness. Some years ago my missus was so ill I had to call 999. Almost immediately Freddie Mercury and Freddie Mercury turned up with their blazing sirens – turned on because I asked them to!!! – and whisked us to the hospital. Their strength and kindness showed no limits AND they were camp enough to bring a smile to Widblood’s lips for the first time in days. Best best best. In all the essentials of life!
Lots of April Love
xxxHRH
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:54 AM
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Queenie Chart
Queen Josephine Chart 19.02.09
1. Jaimie Fanatic ‘I Love Dutch House Music’ (Dogma Remix) Relax. Well so do I Mr Fanatic when it’s as filthily funky as this.
2. Jeremy Sylvester ‘Keep It Hot Y’all’ (Club Mix) Diamond House. Fabulously demanding enough to keep the temperatures up on the dancefloor.
3. RoXium ‘Show Me Love’ (Original) Merika. Is that a vocoder I detect? I bloody hope so or I’m showing my love to a robot.
4. Shaft ‘So Good’ (Original) White. So I’m happily stomping down Electronic Avenue when someone lets the trumpet player in. Genius.
5. Systematics Vs Thomas Gold ‘Don’t Tell’ (Club Mix) justhousemusic. Starting off all bleepy, then a wonderful Brian Ferry-esque vocal wafts enticingly in. Nice!
6. Ian Carey Project ‘Get Shaky’ (Stonebridge) GFab. ‘Oh-ho there you go’. Stonebridge coming up trumps with a great piano driven thumper.
7. DJ Funky T ‘Heartbeat’ (Funky Mix) Soundcloud. Deep, dark and incredibly sexy. Yum.
8. DJ Kirk ‘Sing It’ (Extended) iMelectronic. Hands in the air divadiscoboogiehouse. Hurrah!
9. Marc Rincon Presents Carolina Escolano ‘Mi Amor’ (Sweet Carolina Dub) Tenor Recordings. Satisfying the latino yearnings that always creep in over the winter….
10. Marc Evans ‘The Way You Are’ (Dj Spen’s Killer Club) Defected. As sweet as a hot fudge sundae. Gorgeous silky soul.
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:53 AM
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Historic bits
Ahhhh history. Just the very word takes me back. Specifically actually, to Room 7, Presdales Comprehensive School, Ware, Herts. circa 1978 (or maybe 1878, the mists of time cloud everything). I loved the subject, swallowing up the ‘Dissolution of the Monasteries’, the ‘Industrial Revolution’ and, of course, the ‘Tolpuddle Martyrs’ with great gusto. I remember thoroughly useful pieces of information such as Anne Boleyn being born with an extra finger on each hand – these unwanted fifths falling off after the medieval version of string was tied around them apparently - oh how the irony was lost on me way back then.
But two events stand out far more prominently that occurred during those lessons. Firstly, probably less by accident and more by design was that I always sat behind Lizzy. I realised that I spent a lot of time gazing at her back. And it wasn’t just that I liked her jumper (pale grey and quite bobbly, not a fashion item to covet). It was because I liked her. In history lessons I realised I fancied girls dammit!!!! Which was a bit of a shock, but over the two years spent slaving over the past I kind of got used to it. Though I’m not sure if my teacher did, and so on to event number two….
One Tuesday morning before some kind of mock exam, as we were all shuffling pens and farting around with question sheets, completely out of the blue, Miss Carpenter suddenly slammed her fist on her desk, looked me straight in the eye and screamed “Josephine. Not only do you never concentrate in class, and are a totally disruptive element, but you are also downright stupid!!!”. At the time everyone sat and gaped. I was totally bemused, though not at all amused. Why this outburst? Occasionally I was maybe a bit cheeky, but I’d always got decent marks. What had she seen that got her so fired up with fury?
Perhaps she was just mad that it seemed she had a dirty filthy lezzer in her class, what with my staring at another girls arse all the time. Or that she went crazy as she’d just realised that whilst ‘The Well Of Lonliness’ was her bible, the future generation of dykes might actually sort themselves out into fun-lovin-ladies-what-unashamedly-love-ladies-without-hiding-or-remaining-repressed. Or maybe she just didn’t like my glasses and was in a bad mood as she had her period. Whatever. It was a moment when I realised life could be very unjust, and is an episode in my history that whilst I still don’t fully understand, I shall never forget.
Whether I’m a stronger person because of those incidents I’m not sure. I remember my glee at getting a good O Level grade and hoping it made that that old bag seethe – and I’m not a bitter lesbian even now so I guess that was an isolated incident. My class-mate crush wasn’t though. A life-long love of women never stopped…..
xxxHRH
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:50 AM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Bad carpet
Now, when I was young the future really was orange. We had a quite remarkable loft in our South London abode that was my bedroom, which had bright orange walls and a deep orange carpet. It was in that decade of taste, the 70’s, where even the décor itself conspired to give you a headache. When my dad was decorating it the words ‘Space age’ kept coming up, probably due to some silver picture frames dotted about, though perhaps it also referred to my being shoved up into the highest area in our house. Like being in the top bit of a rocket – don’t know the technical term. The nose maybe? Anyway, I’m still not sure why I didn’t have a bedroom next to everybody else (obviously a ‘space’ issue fnarrr), but the future then did seem all so innocently high-tech and tantalisingly out of reach. I remember the entire class watching the first moon-landing on a big fuzzy telly wheeled into the classroom. God we were bored. But what could happen in the years to come beckoned starrily. The next generations would be travelling to Mars, setting up homes on Jupiter, taking a holiday in Uranus(!!!). They’d have a robot to do the chores and would hover to work on some kind of mono-rail in the clouds…..
So has that future which promised so much been a disappointment? Well, I don’t have a robot to do the hoovering – sorry, dysoning – and I can’t really see our next vacation going inter-gallactic. But one of my favourite records is the acid house classic ‘Future’, and I still, probably with my head firmly up on that cloudy mono-rail, feel certain bits of optimism about some of what it may hold. It’s bloody January, the most difficult month of the year to feel positive about much, so before I lose sight of any potential joy here’s a wee Queenie list of what could come good as time marches on never ending……
1. Mr Obama actually becomes all we hope he said he’d become, delivers us all from evil, and the world turns into somewhere the residents of other galaxies would like to actually visit.
2. West Ham win the league. And all the cups. And all the players receive knight-hoods.
3. All our lovely clubs become busy, happy places again.
4. Polystyrene never enters my life.
5. Everybody wins the lottery.
6. Queen Liz abdicates, passing on her crown to little me rather than Charlie allowing him to concentrate on his organic biscuits and cows etc.
7. All toilets become self-cleaning.
8. No more Big bleeding Brother or Strictly Come Dancing.
9. Somebody invents a white bra that stays white and bright rather than going grey and horrible after one wash. Even if you use glo-white.
10. I’ll stop doing so many lists.
So my darlings, I hope we all have a happy and fabulous New Year. And a safe and loving future……..
xxxHRH
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:50 AM
Monday, December 1, 2008
Present and correct
Is it really December again? Sometimes, I really wish I could shake off the years and go back to that lovely time when I didn’t worry about Xmas. When it was just a sparkling time of crispy clear excitement, of cosily rosy cheeked choral harmonising and hoping that maybe I’d get a drum kit come the beautiful snowy morn. Because it was unsullied by trauma back then. Never mind my poor parents furrowed brows as they anguished over how to make a few old pence transform themselves into a Dalek. I didn’t notice, too excited. Or the screeching music teacher howling at her choir not to sing ‘Weee Wissshhhh you-a-merry Chrisssssmassss’, but to be subtle with our ‘s’s. Didn’t register, too hyped-up. Or that it probably only snowed once between my lost youth and now. Maybe twice. It was a magical time of potential joy, when I didn’t have to fret about getting anybody anything, just about what I might actually get. And being this Queenie, I feel I must just list my top 10 all time Xmas gifts, not in any particular order…..
1. 1969 - Captain Scarlet Outfit. The envy of all my little friends, especially Everton next door who offered to swap his Scalextric for it. No deal.
2. 1971 - Lunar Module Airfix Kit. The envy of nobody.
3. 1973 - Jackson Five’s Greatest Hits Cassette. My dad wanted to wrench it out of the car after 15 plays, though the ‘70’s technology did it for him with a chew up job going through the Blackwall tunnel, March 1974. Replaced with vinyl 1975.
4. 2007 - Queen Josephine & Friends Collage. On the wall in our boudoir. Wonderful. Thanks Ms Wildblood.
5. 1977 - Jeans. First ever real pair of denims. Cost £7.99. My mum was shocked to the core at this extraordinarily costly item of ‘workers’ clothing, and FURIOUS when I wouldn’t let her do hemmed turn-ups, insisting on letting them trail through the dirt creating mass fraying by January. Cut up, safety-pinned to the shape of my gorgeously drainpiped legs, and my punk favourites for…ooh a month or two into ’78.
6. 1970 - Bongo Drums. Would still have them if my brother hadn’t stuck a biro through them during the ‘ska era’ (early ‘80’s. I preferred proper reggae. There were deep family divisions).
7. 1968, 1995, 1999 - West Ham tops. You can never take the Hammer out of this Queen. Just the piss.
8. Money.
9. 1970 to Present - Books About Horses. These really should’ve stopped by now, but they are my comfort reading….
10. 1980 - Driving Lessons. Thanks granny, all other road users do not salute you.
And this year? Well, I’m not expecting much, it being credit-crunch-christmas and all. Hope I pick something to give that means something to somebody I love, even if it’s not through spending loads. Let it just be sparkling and hopeful. Worry free. Happy bloody Xmas everyone!!!!
xxxxHRH
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:48 AM
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Nudist dyke colony anyone
The other day I heard some quite shocking news. (Nothing new there then, this being the wild and crazy gay world I tend to circulate around and within). So what amazed this generally unshockable old Queen? Not a beyond-belief-club-night or a nudist dyke colony in North Yorkshire or anything of that ilk. No, it was when a good and close friend blurted out that her recent love interest ‘didn’t realise that women could contract HIV or AIDS’. Blimey George, I hadn’t expected that. The girlfriend in question has always seemed a highly clued up and intelligent lesbian, savvy, knowledgeable. So how could all the medical information, the staggering death tolls of both men AND women in Africa or the plethora of ‘safe sex packs’ (I won’t mention being hit in the eye by one of those again) have passed this lady by??? If she really does believe this all I can imagine is that she never reads, watches the news, uses a computer, goes anywhere or talks to anybody. Which can’t be true as she’s from half way around the world, has a job involving many people and I’ve never seen her holding a book upside down so proving her illiteracy! Maybe it was just a strange way of ending the new-ish relationship by pleading stupidity of such a high order that my clever mate would run screaming to the hills rather than spend any more time in her company? I think it must’ve been, though it did start me thinking.
Cases of HIV rose higher in 2007 amongst gay men than at any time since the epidemic started twenty years ago. And when respected doctors such as Dr Noel Gill argue that ‘the safe sex message is not being adhered to’ it kind of points to the idea that it isn’t lack of knowledge that’s causing the increase, but that risks are being taken.
But these statistics are from a survey taken from men attending sexual health clinics, and as the Terence Higgins Trust points out this means these men fear they may have put themselves in danger, and it doesn’t reflect all gay men. Heterosexuals have accounted for the majority of new HIV cases since 2002 and the number of women with HIV has grown proportionately more than that of men. The highest majority of these cases have been transmitted through sexual activity rather than through drug injections or blood transfusions. There is a great fear that HIV may be disappearing off the radar and becoming the ‘forgotten disease’. Whether this is through ignorance or not, we shouldn’t be sitting idle!
So let’s keep its damn profile up there. We’re none of us immune, and despite wonderful medical innovations there still is no cure. Whilst it’s fabulous to take some risks – yeah, I’m going to play The Smiths next to Sugarbabes next to Beethoven next time I play at Ghetto – don’t put your beautiful health on the line.
xxxHRH
PS – Nudist-dyke-colony?????
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:47 AM
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Life's a drag
I’m not sure when I first learnt about drag as in the ‘women’s clothes as worn by a man, usually a transvestite’ sense so eloquently put by the Oxford English Dictionary Third Edition 1992. Maybe this is hardly surprising given that ‘drag’ has 33 different meanings listed, the cross dressing one swinging in at 30, beaten by such winning drags as 6 (to prolong or be prolonged tediously and unnecessarily) and 18 (a sporting coach with seats inside and out, usually drawn by four horses). So many drags, so little time! And anyway, I was far too busy customising clothes to worry about what things meant. In retrospect, however, it appears that I may have been dragging it without even realising it….
One of my earliest memories – and I know I’m not remotely alone in this – is that I loved getting dressed up. What’s possibly a little more unique is that this mainly coincided with me trying to attain the look of my favourite character in whichever TV programme I was viewing at the time. Each of whom was male – cartoon, real, puppet, whatever. My parents regularly trot out the tales of my desperately getting into costumes usually created by my own fair hand only to be finally togged up as the closing credits rolled. In tears as my wonderful Superman outfit was wasted. He’d flown off until next week leaving me to twiddle my cape in front of the adverts. I had greater success as Tarzan, it being a lot easier to strip down to a brown customised PE skirt complete with rubber dagger. And I had a proper life changing experience when I received a proper official Captain Scarlet outfit one Xmas. A two minute clothing change with everything in place. No more trying to recreate shiny red boots with electrical tape around the sandals! Miraculous!!!
Even when the telly was out of bounds (or maybe just off as these were those dark ages of just-a-few-hours-a-day-programmes-on-three-channels) my favourite activities when not playing football involved making ‘things’ to put on. Mens’ uniforms almost solely. Drawing buttons, colouring them in gold, cutting out and sticking them down the front of my blue jumper (with selotape). I became that policeman. And my favourite – putting tinfoil all over Grandads bowler hat, adding stray feathers from an old boa of Granny’s, tinfoil waistcoat, red jumper and hobby-horse. Jo was a member of the Household Cavalry, make no mistake.
So what of now? I loved it a few years ago when Miss Joyride dolled me up as a foxy blonde with big hair and frock. It felt wonderful. But I also felt like a boy in drag. Which wasn’t a bad thing, it just proved my preference for blokes clobber!
So at Sirens or Fruit I’ll a be a Gangster rather than a Moll. Always James Bond, never Pussy Galore. Can’t wait for a cavalry night so I can whip out the tinfoil though……
xxxHRH
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:46 AM
Monday, September 1, 2008
Querying Queenie Sept 08
To be perfectly frank, I’m not too sure about the body beautiful. It’s a tricky one – on the one hand there’s the school of thought that says true beauty comes from within and it just doesn’t matter what the outer casing looks like. Then there are your peepers, or feelers if you can’t actually see, that tell you PHWOAAAR. She looks and feels just right and I fancy it her. Same old story! But of course that beauty is the candy of whichever the beholder; the big muscle mary ahead could be the biggest turn off if what really gets you going is the lovely forty stone hair-fest passing by stage left.
This being the Queenie column though, I thought I’d work out whether or not I’m trying to keep MY body beautiful, what with the years creeping up and all. Do I look after myself more now than I did in my hedonistic youth?
1. Breakfast. The most important meal of the day, apparently. I used to be quite good at it – cereals occasionally, toast and marmalade often. Now I’m crap – never knowing what I want so often not bothering. Though this may have something to do with no longer liking milk and getting stomach ache from all but the most artisan of breads, I like to think that it’s because when I was young I inevitably went to bed plastered and eating breakfast was merely to stave off my awful hangover. Hangovers of any magnitude tend to happen far less frequently now as I’m so much more sensible with my drinking!!!???!!!
2. Excersise. Once I’d shaken off the sportiness off my youth I stopped any form of formal excersise, and odd horse riding episodes aside (plus a ridiculously short gym membership – two attendances then a flee forever), I’ve never taken it back up. But whilst I’m still carrying at least some vinyl about along with my cd’s and dancing my arse off whenever I or any of my fave dj’s are playing I’m getting great work-outs even if they aren’t concentrating on buffing up particular parts of my frame. And I’m three stone lighter than I was in my early twenties, though I’m sure that’s just to do with having better (and more frequent) sex.
3. Recreationals. Hmmmm – I used to drink like a fish. All the time. Now I’m a tadpole during the week, a whale at the weekends.
4. Diet. I used to eat a lot of chips, kebabs etc. I was shite at cooking. I still eat chips, but food-wise it’s a far healthier diet for this older Queenie – I love cooking fresh stuff which must help with that inner beauty. Even if I’m still useless at breakfast!
So – am I looking after myself better than I used to? I’m lucky, loved and healthy now – and I couldn’t ask for more than that. It makes me feel beautiful whatever I’m looking like. Astonishing!!!
xxxxxxHRH
# posted by Queen Josephine : 9:44 AM